His Last Night, Unable to Sever Ties
by rebeckon
Summary: Allen's been informed Lavi's leaving, but doesn't believe it. When he goes to confront him, things go terribly unexpected and emotions go wild in the least of pleasant ways . Oneshot! Laven.


**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man or any of it's characters. It's my first Laven ff, ever, so please be nice and review if you read/fave it? I'd be thankful… This is meant to be an oneshot, but if anyone feels like I should just extend it a little and continue on with the plot, I'll consider it. 3 Have fun loverlies!**

"Don't even joke like that, BaKanda!"

Allen's flesh had paled to an eerie white, the tint just matching that of the loose locks hanging in his widened eyes. His body slightly trembled, an aftershock to the earthquake in his chest that pounded violently. He pushed forth laughter - not bubbly nor light- just nervous hiccups that portrayed a lingering sense of disbelief. Kanda was rude, without doubt, but he wouldn't lie about something like that!

But at this point, something in his heart desperately wanted him to be lying.

"I'm not joking- you're not worth it, Moyashi." The samurai's usual look of annoyance found its way onto his face again. A gruff sigh escaped his lips, a sign of not caring enough to wait for the waterworks light eyes would soon come to produce. He stood sharply, mind throbbing with constant protests of staying to watch the little beansprout break down. As soon as he did though, a hand marked by Innocence shot out, capturing his wrist with a firm grip. "Don't touch me with that cursed hand!"

"Kanda!..." Dropping the usual prefix of 'Ba', the boy's stare grew soft as his eyes silently said what he could not verbally. All eyes fell upon them now, a slight uneasiness growing in the several Finders' guts- latching onto Kanda was practically an invitation to death.

Mugen was drawn out of it's protective covering, aimed to the tip of Allen's nose; a familiar routine he had come to know well when he angered the male. "Lavi and Bookman are fucking leaving, got that straight, Moyashi?"

"H...how can you say that so calmly?!"

A deep shade of blue narrowed at the gaze of light grey irises, sheathing his blade with a turn on his heel. "I don't care." Releasing the hold on his wrist as he came to the realization that it no longer proved to be effective, the white haired boy let it hang limply at his side. The quiet subdued not long after, though, in all honesty; Allen had never felt as alone before.

Chattering that filled the room, now rang in his eardrums with an empty echo- and nothing more. His sight had gone blurry with oncoming tears, for which he was partially glad, not being able to stomach the sight of a slowly retreating Kanda. His mind buzzed.

So it had been true, and even worse, Lavi was going to leave without a word.

Hands held his head in support, the light irises of a teenage boy dripped tears, and clung to his flushed cheeks until the very end of his flesh; their lives ending at the base of his jaw and crashing into the forming puddle on the cafeteria's table.

He wasn't doing anything just sitting there. Though his mind urged him to stand, his body stayed; numb with growing emotion.

It was inevitable- he had to visit Lavi himself and sort everything else before trusting Kanda's word.

And if it was true?

Allen vowed to stop him.

x

Light flickered against the redhead's skin, a wavering flame dancing to a mocking beat. Bookman had traveled to the library for the last time earlier that evening, leaving Lavi in ponder his own thoughts; which in the end didn't distract him from their inevitable departure from the Order. On the other hand, he was also bitterly enjoying the handiness of his photographic memory- slender face and small frame; gleaming eyes, with unmistakable marks etched into the layers of his skin just above and below his left; snow hair that went just above his shoulders; to even the soft curve of his lips as he pulled one of his 'don't worry about me' smiles. Allen Walker had captured almost all of his mind's attention- and he dreaded the very reason why.

He let out a soft sigh, the sound of his pen clattering against the wood of the desk. "Fuck."

He was in too deep, and he knew it. The shattering sound of his supposedly nonexistent heart had proven the theory fact; it haunting his sanity. The Future Bookman had gone forty-eight lives without such attachments. And now, closing in on his forty-ninth, he had.

Distracting himself by rolling the pen between his fingers atop the desk, Lavi pulled on a bright smile, a facade built into his identity.

No matter what, one thing always crept into his mind; burrowing in the crevices of his thoughts.

And as if summoning this being, just by his increase of flustered thoughts, the redhead heard the hesitant lingering of a being in the hall, posed to knock but not having enough power to do so.

x

Delicate fingers balled into a fist, pale knuckles hanging just in front of the door; Allen Walker couldn't bring himself to knock. His heart thumped in his chest, pounding with worry; anger; unfathomable feelings that sent chills up his spine. He wouldn't let the fear overtake him now he decided, the thought of coming this far and simply turning back, sent a subtle whimper into the air.

"Hello?" Lavi's voice.

Allen swallowed all his feelings, coaxing his throat with saliva to hide the fact his mouth was almost too dry to speak audibly. "It's Allen." His voice cracked despite his attempts.

There was a shuffle across the floorboards behind the wood, a slight hesitation as well, before the door opened in a sluggish pace to bare the redhead in such a relaxed state. His headband hung loosely around his neck in place of his scarf, simply discarded into one of the bags he had packed only hours earlier- which of course, sent the red locks astray and into his eye's way. "What'cha doing here, beansprout?"

Said beansprout couldn't even muster up the anger to correct him; voice faltering and vision impaired by blurry silhouettes. "Allen? What's wrong?"

His eyes narrowed, silver daggers. "What's wrong? Stop that shit!... Please tell me Kanda's lying and you're staying, Lavi!"

Lavi's eye widened in a state of shock. He had trusted Yuu with that information, specifically told him not to say a word to the silver haired boy before him, and yet he did so!

Trust.

He had been foolish to trust him in the first place, seeing as though his 'heart' shouldn't have let such an action take place anyway.

"Allen."

"Don't 'Allen' me! Tell me the truth..."

The male gently pulled him into his room, introducing the boy to the familiar image of flames' shadows swaying against the off white of his walls and scattered writing supplies and papers. On the bed sat the unmistakable presence of a suitcase, half opened to reveal the disheveled sight of wrinkled clothing. Allen's heart sank at the proof of Kanda's heartless statement. Turning his face to meet the complexion of the male who held his shirt in one clenched fist, he licked his lips. "You were going to leave without telling me..." Hurt underlined his words as he spoke them.

"You would have tried to stop me." And I would have let you. The redhead released his clasp, resting his fingers over his temple in attempt to hide his aching features.

"Of course I would have, you're my best friend Lavi..." His sorrow was palpable, his pulse quickening with his determination to make him stay; with the order; with everyone; with him. "Please, don't do this to me... Don't leave..."

His gaze met pupils of silver through the openings of his fingers. Nails dug into his thigh as he fought back every word that was caught, by peanut butter sticky truth, in his throat. "A Bookman can't have attachments. You aren't my best friend, because you never could be.

"Though I can understand your situation, I can't allow you to keep such an attachment to I, Allen Walker. It would be best if you just severed all our ties altogether."

The silence seemed to linger for a lifetime.

"I won't," the younger of the two protested, cutting through the prolonged quiet. "I refuse to. And I know you won't either, no matter what you say Lavi. The bonds are already there and... they're strong- they have worth and meaning, and even you aren't so heatless enough to destroy all of that!" Lavi cringed at the irony of the choice of words, sliding his hand off his face in order to meet the silver haired minor fully.

His palm cupped Allen's cheek subconsciously, thumb rubbing the warm skin beneath it. The male blinked, suddenly speechless though his tongue had been hurling words only moments before. "Allen?"

He nodded to motion he was listening. The Future Bookman pressed his lips together, considering what to say next. Silver eyes urged him to say those three words, ones that could have tied them together in this moment; for eternity... "I must go."

Those weren't the words Allen had been hoping for. He pressed his face into the other's chest, which the redhead found to be quickly dampening at the boy's touch. "Are you crying..?" The head shook against his body, as Lavi fought to bring his head away to study his face. Tears coated his face heavily, the mark on his face glistening with a wetness that eerily made it stand out more.

"This is my last night here in the Order... Please, don't make me regret it." He pulled the sobbing boy into a bittersweet kiss, he yanking away much to his discontent.

It had been the shortest, the longest, the best, and worst few seconds in the cursed male's life, all balled up into one. "Lavi!.." He seethed, taking another step forward instead of one back like he had intended.

"Yes, Allen?..."

"...Don't fuck with my feelings."

The 'Exorcist' before him went to take his cheek again, but he easily batted it off its intended course. "Did you even hear me-"

"I heard you clearly."

Lavi latched his mouth onto the reluctant boy's own, forcing a bruising kiss upon rose petal lips until they gave into his taste- like honey with their sweetness. The brashness of the action melted into a tender embrace that their lips shared; pale arms finding their way around the redhead's neck in a desperate attempt to bring them closer.

It was, without a doubt, one of the most pleasurable kisses the Future Bookman had ever received (though it was his first). A tantalizingly sick pleasure filled the air with its acid. It plague his being. It made him question his loyalties.

Allen had been right- he wasn't so keen on letting this attachment go.

A discordant slapping sound erupted, his right cheek burning with a stinging pain caused by the boy's anger.

He had done something wrong and acted on his feelings after so bluntly denying them. The Exorcist had thought he was acting on an impulse to comfort his cries, a lie to smooth out the damage. He had gotten what he rightfully deserved.

"I don't care if you're leaving! You're a liar... A Bookman... I was wrong to think of you as any more." He features were distorted in pain, whilst his light gaze poured betrayal and disbelief. Slinking out of the room, he left Lavi to realize he had washed away the optimistic smile Allen had always carried- he had made him hate him.

x

It had been hours since his visit to the Bookman's room, darkness surrounding him like a cloud of dust as he wrapped himself in his cocoon of blankets. The day was either drawing to its end or the next was newly awakening by this time, he thought, not bothering to turn his head to steal a look to his clock.

With the heel of his palm, he vigorously wiped at his mouth, as if attempting to erase the kiss Lavi had planted only earlier that evening. The presence of them just wouldn't go away no matter how many times he tried.

Allen paused his motion at the series of footsteps pattering right outside his room. There was a hesitated quiet before the distinct sound of something being slid under the door's frame, then the being disappeared down the hall.

Rolling over, he chose to ignore the item that had recently been shoved into his room.

It could wait.

x

Morning seeped into the room, cascading light upon a figure that resisted waking up.

Succumbing to the sun's will, the pale faced boy sat up in his bed. The air was still, his breathing the only audible sound bouncing off the walls. Stiffly dragging his body out to stand up, the boy's silver stare met the familiar shape of a piece of paper in the center of his floor.

_A note?_ He inwardly asked, scurrying over to take it into his hands. He carefully pried it open, proceeding to get a paper cut along the way.

_Allen,_

_I'm sorry._

_I know you don't believe that, seeing as I always stress about how much of a lie my lives really are._

_...Last night shouldn't have happened._

_But, I have formed an attachment. No matter what the old Panda says, it's one I can't ever sever._

_I'll be in the Library at six in the morning, seeing as he wants to leave around seven. If you forgive me, if you want me to stay, all you have to do is tell me. I've worked hard to be who I am now, but I could push aside these lies if it means making you happy._

_If you don't come, I understand._

_I just want you to know something._

_I love you. As much as a Bookman can love another. Maybe even more._

_Anyway, I'll be waiting for you Allen._

_Lavi._

The hands holding the note were trembling. He had been utterly, horribly wrong about the redhead. His heart stopped at the thought of what time it was, he not even sure if he wanted to look at what his clock flashed. Swallowing, he forced his sight onto it.

It read nine in the morning.

That was it, Lavi was gone.

The boy he loved was gone, even though he presented the option of staying, because the Exorcist wouldn't get his ass out of bed to face the day.

...

There was another long moment of silence that followed his realization.

And if someone listened, if any one person took a second to truly observe it in that single moment;

they could hear the unmistakable shatter of Allen Walker's heart breaking.


End file.
